Rape Moutain
by KershaFangs
Summary: After his love of his life is captured by Muraki, Tsuzuki must ventured off to Rape Mountain to save her. But he learns along the road of the dangerous reality that is... a Parody fanfiction [OOCness][AU]Rated for Mature themes, but not too mature...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I in no way own Yami no Matsuei, any of it's characters or Rape Mountain... I wish I do though!

Author's Notes: Ok, I got inspired to write this story after I was talking to my friend, who loves YnM, and there she made a joke about Muraki and a place called Rape Mountain. Then I thought, '_Wow, I really could write a story about that..._' and so on a day that I got sick and had to stay home, I sat at the computer and started to type the idea up. What I reallly like avbout this story is the style of how I wrote it. It was really fun typing and I hope you enjoy it too.

P.S. For why I named this story 'The Adventures of Rape Mountain', you'll find out as you read... Also Shima is an OC I made for my friend. She gave me the idea to write this so I thought it should include her too.

**---**

**The Adventures of Rape Mountain**

Chapter One

Tsuzuki stirred slightly in the over-sized stain-lined bed he was sleeping in and with his 'sugar'-whores the night before. With a hefty yawn and an adorable Tsuzuki-style 'rubbing the sleepiness off your eyes before you're totally going to be molested', our favorite rapeble Shinigami looked over to the other sides our his luxury bed and noted that he wasn't the only one that slept with his 'sugar'-whores from the Rape-Fest last night over at Watari's.

Beside him, and curled up by his sides and legs, were Shima, a young (and very under-age girl who loves crack, crystal meth, ecstasy, marijuana, rocks, PCP, tobacco, and angel dust, which is her favorite) blonde hair woman who's golden wavy locks, shimmering sky-blue eyes, fair pale skin, and beauty which could only compare with her insanity. Hisoka, another under-age child who died from an incurable disease and blah, blah, blah… No one really wants to know about that whiny biz-nitch do they? Hmm, I thought as so. Yet the most attached to Tsuzuki was all our favorite rapist/doctor/weather man/rapist, Muraki. His silver hair strands felled over his glasses (which apparently he never takes off which is really weird because Muraki has had no virtual eye problems what so ever… maybe he wear them 'cuz they're cool? Yeah, 'cuz they were cool…) and he mumbled something lowly.

To one it may have sounded like this…

"Mhh… Tsuzuki… Shima… mhhh… must remember… patient waiting for appointment at 9:00 am… gotta' kill some people… mhhh… invent cure for death too…"

However, because this is being written by an shounen-ai crazed insane teenage girl for her best friend, this is really what he said:

"Mmm… Tsuzuki, no, no… get away! They're my 'sugar' whores! You have enough… No, no! Hisoka, why are you hitting me? What, you're really a pimp named Cinni' Mini? Wait, no… Everyone look out! KershaFang got a phone! Snore… zzz… What… no… no, they're my man-slaves and not yours, Tatsumi! Ah… Ah... AHHH! Edward Elric! I'm sorry, I didn't know you were Rebecca's boy-toy! I'm sorry, no, no Rebecca, not there! Not again! NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Muraki woke up in a cold sweat, screaming "My lovely lady lumps!" He then seemed to doze off and fell down into the bed and tangled himself up back in the silky blood-red stain sheets. By some random chance, despite Muraki crazed screaming, Shima and Hisoka lied still by Tsuzuki, sleeping as soundly as ever. The Angel of Death looked at the sight before him and the overall event of things that morning and said, "WTF did I do last night?"

**Later…**

After washing up in the shower, Shima came out of the steaming bathroom with towels loosely fitting around her waist and head. Yet she seemed peeved. It was probably because Tsuzuki used her bath water to make Instant Jell-O and won't let her eat any of it. '_Tsuzuki-kun knows that Man sex-flavored Instant Jell-o is my favorite!'_

Immediately after Shima finished her thought and began devising a way for her to take over the land of PMS-ing Bitches and rule as their Bitchy Queen, she noted a faint, almost whining sound. The whining soon turned into loud ear-piercing yelps of terror.

Out of fear that her lover had accidentally got his tongue caught in the ceiling fan again, Shima ran towards the source of the girly-screams, expecting Tsuzuki to be gripping for life on the fan, but was stunned by the actual scene. Shima gasped audible at the sight before her. Muraki, gripping Hisoka by the ankles, was dangling him out the window. Shima sprinted towards Muraki, grabbing his shoulders and causing him to turn back in shock.

"What are you doing, Muraki-Bunny?" Shima choked out, her eyes swelling with tears. Muraki blinked a few times before responding with a wicked grin, "I'm sorry, Shima-Kitty, but I can't share my Tsuzuki-Puppy with another man… no matter how fine and rapeble his ass is. That's why I'm going to kill Hisoka by shoving him through this window!"

Shima stepped back, shocked by Muraki's words. He was going to kill Hisoka? Why? They all three have shared the Shinigami before with no trouble… Shima, as the young drug-addicted original character based on the authoress' best friend in school; Hisoka, as the under-age boy who every non-Muraki fan-girl wants Tsuzuki to end up with, and most importantly, Muraki, the totally insane and hot doctor who makes 'sugar' whores feel like actual members of society, throws the best rape-fest parties, and has access to many kinky toys for those lonely nights.

There has been a blissful cycle of love and molestation between the four of them so… why? Why did Muraki want to ruin it all and even possibly, plan to kill Shima next?

Shima choked on her words. The tears over-flooded and ran down rapidly from her face and they began to flood the room. As Shima waded through her teardrop sea in the kitchen, she clutched Muraki's wet coat and sobbing screamed, "Why?"

Muraki turned his face and spoke lowly, his lips moving yet no audibly sound. Shima narrowed her eyes and said, "What?"

Muraki seemed to be tapping at a spot on his coat, close to his chin. After a while, he said, "C-can you hear me now?"

Shima held a hand to her ear and said, "Barely." Muraki fumbled with the small device on his coat. "Can you hear me now?" he said very clearly. Shima sighed and said, "Yes, perfectly."

"Sorry, the tears messed up my microphone… Ok so where were we?"

Shima flipped through the script and skimmed through. "Let's see here… Tear flood, check… me sobbing on you, check… flipping through script, check… ah, ok here!"

Shima pointed to a spot on the script and Muraki nodded in agreement. He cleared his throat and the marker guy said, "Hisoka attempted Murder scene, take two!"

Shima choked on her words. The tears over-flooded and ran down rapidly from her face and they began to flood the room. As Shima waded through her teardrop sea in the kitchen, she clutched Muraki's wet coat and sobbing screamed, "Why?"

Muraki turned his head and spoke bluntly. "Damn Bitch! Clean out your ears! I already said why. 'Cuz I ain't going to share my Tsuzuki-man bitch with no other mo' fo's."

Shima drew back her head, her eyes dilated and really, really small cuz' in like in amines you know when the guy is like really shock his eyes like super-shrink and they are then only the size of Edward Elric? Well, not that small. No one can be _that _small but, but small nonetheless. She took her shaking hand and laid it on Muraki's still shoulder, he unfazed by the sudden and totally random embrace that Shima gave him.

Her small arms wrapped around Muraki's waist, Shima buried her head in Muraki's chest. He sighed heavily and propped up his own arms and returned the sign of affection as well. Shima lifted her head slightly to breathe in more air and whispered out, "Can I help?"

Muraki flashed a sadistic closed mouth smile at Shima and he went back to Hisoka, who was now drowning in the sea of tear which somehow didn't dry up or ran down the stairs cuz' like this was the fifth-floor kitchen (They need a kitchen on every floor because believe it or not, Tsuzuki's stomach is a black hole and they need as many fridges filled with pastries to calm the mighty beast that lived in Tsuzuki's stomach as they can).

He tightly grasped Hisoka's frail neck and said over to Shima, "Only if you grab his legs."

Shima smiled happily and widely. She skipped over to Hisoka's squirming body, humming a happy and simple tune while Muraki sang out stridently, "I'm bringing sexy back! And no one is going to take away my Sexy-Tsuzuki who is a male as I am. Maybe if they were a man-lady, like Envy or Sora, then I guess that would be okay… but they would not be invited to my Rape-Fests… only if they were like really hot and great lap-dancers! But this is really irrelative to both my the song I was originally singing and the whole story line… but anyways… I'm bring Sexy back!"

Shima held out Hisoka by his legs and Muraki, by his arms, and they stood poised before the window and ready to see Hisoka just spatter on the spike pit below. Why was there a spike pit? Who knows but Shima saw one in a movie and thought it was cool, so she got it.

With a slight swing with every count, Shima counted down, "1…2…3-"

Just then, noted by the two soon-to-be murderer, a womanly-gasp was heard. Muraki and Shima slowly adverted their gaze onto Tsuzuki, who stood there just shaking and covering his mouth with both hands. "Muraki… Shima… what are you- no, no… I can't believe this! No, it's not true! There are no more Cinnamon Rolls! Oh what a bitch reality is!"

Tsuzuki paced rapidly back and forward, on the walls and not, on the ceiling and cupboard, having tea the cast of Loveless and Gravitation. Tsuzuki then held his head and yelled, "I gotta' got to the Cinnipon and get more! Oh, hey Shima, Muraki, and Hisoka, who is tied up and gagged and trying to yell out for help but can't and is trying to tell me to help him, but I'm not. And now is trying to tell me I'm an idiot 'cuz I'm like totally am noticing that Hisoka's very life is in danger, but technically he can't die but this is a Fan fiction so whatever. And I'm just rambling on and on, not really caring that one of the three 'One and only' loves of my life is going to be killed by the other two. So, like bye, I'll be back by 2!"

And with that, Tsuzuki jumped into a rowboat and rowed across the lake of tears to the front door. Shima and Muraki looked at each other and blinked a few times. Finally Shima spoke up and said, "This is why I love Tsuzuki… He's complete eye candy and doesn't think. That's all men should be; Hot and stupid. Ok, on my mark Muraki-Bunny, one, two, three!"

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Ok, so that's chapter one! Does Muraki and Shima succesed in their plot to kill Hisoka? Does Hisoka die? Can he die, cuz, you know... he's like already dead? And does the Cinnipon have enough cinnamon rolls to fill Tsuzuki's desire for sweet thangs? Most likely not. But all will be answered and less in chapter two! So until then... Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Alright it has been forever since I have updated, and I bet some of you are shocked as well! Yes, I am seriously doing this story, even though like no one is reading it, except for you Shima!

**Chapter Two **

Muraki slowly chewed through a blueberry muffin, which were really pancakes, and flipped a page on the book he was currently reading, How to Get Away With Murdering One of the Four People/Shinigami That Are in Love With the Angel of Death/Totally Sexy/Able to Variously Shape-Shift into a Dog-like Chibi Form, Tsuzuki. How he ever found a book like that and so helpful in the exact situation that he was in, we will never know. That book sold out everywhere within the world, the universe, and even the local 'sugar' house.

Shima chewed on a cinnamon roll that she had kept hidden in her shoe for the last 5 months and took a few gulf of a clear liquid in her Tsuzuki printed mug. She was wearing her favorite outfit ever.

She had on an open sleeved red and black decaled blouse with the front of it cut very low. Fitted comfortable on her lower half of body were Dragon-like style jeans with various rips and slashed on the section of the jean leg below the knee. Shima also had on high-heel black leather boots. A chain from the back pocket of her pants led up and connected to the spiked collar she wore. The collar was exactly like a dog's collar, it even had dog tags that had her full information on it. You know, full name, address, phone number, age, hobbies, where she hangs outs after school, where she goes to school, favorite music, colors, and bands, and her social security number. Just the pedophile's specialty you know?

Yet the favorite part of her outfit was Shima's mini jacket. It looked normal in the front, just an average medium blue shade of material with small diamond designs that read 'Shima' over the area of her heart on the flap of the collar. In the back of the jacket however, in big bold letters read 'I –heart- Being Raped!'

Shima sighed sweetly and said, "Nothing starts off the morning better than a shot of hard Vodka before it's even 9:00 am!"

Muraki looked up from his book and smiled twisted. "Damn straight! And now that that whiny biz-nitch, Hisoda, or whatever his name was, is gone; we can have ourselves a Rape-Fest party!"

Shima 'reow-ed' at Muraki in agreement, Hisoka never let them as any Rape-Fests anymore. Not since the last one when Hisoka was 'raped' and 'molested' and 'forced to do sexual conduct and activities against his will' and… 'Raped'. He acted as if he didn't like getting raped! Then again, if a 12-year old yaoi-fan girl molested you, then you should be pretty pissed off that you were so weak you couldn't fend off a little girl. I mean really, this was a scrawny 12-year old. I don't even think she was 12! She was probably still in sixth grade. Wait, if she was a minor, then how did she get into the Rape-Fest?

'_Oh wait…' _Shima remembered. '_I was the one who raped him… that was one sweet night, but who knew Hisoka was such a screamer?'_

Shima shrugged it off and continued to slurp from her Tsuzuki cup. Hey, speaking of Tsuzuki… where was the waffle iron? Shima wanted to make some waffles!

Searching through the kitchen drawers, cabinets, refrigerator, and whorehouse, Shima sighed in detest. She couldn't find the waffle iron. She would have brooded over it more but her A.D.D make her completely forget the whole thing and attracted her to something shiny.

"Ohhh… Shiny!" Shima marveled over the glamorous item, taking it into her hand and tugging on it up and down. Shima only wondered at what was this glorious and magnificent object, which she had become so entranced with…

"Shima! Let go of my pant zipper!"

With a scornful sigh of detest, Shima let go of Tsuzuki's zipper mumbling something about French toast and fish sticks. Then, just now realizing that Tsuzuki was there, Shima ran up and groped him, stealing his boxer by doing so. "Tsuzuki-Puppy! I missed you!"

Tsuzuki chuckled a bit and rubbed head. "Hey Shima-Kitty, how have ya' been?"

Muraki put down his book, mark the page before so, and turned his seat to face Tsuzuki. "Tsuzuki… Shima and I have been thinking-"

"OMG! Thinking! That's horrible!" Tsuzuki yelped. In his Inu-form, Tsuzuki raised a paw to Shima, who was in Neko-form, and lifted some of her long side bangs so that he could check her forehead better. "Are you alright? Did it hurt, Shima-Kitty?"

Softly 'kyuu-ing', Shima said, "A little. Oh Tsuzuki-kun! Thinking was horrible… the dancing dinosaur on the TV said it was fun, but it wasn't…" Tsuzuki shushed her and held Shima close to his chest. "Shhh… it's alright… you'll never have to think again…"

Shima sniffled and looked into Tsuzuki's large chibi eyes. "Thank you Tsuzuki-kun… thank you…"

Muraki's eye twitched at the combination of retarded-ness and dramatic scene play between the two. "As I was saying", Muraki resumed, "Shima and I were talking and we think we should have a Rape-Fest. You know, to celebrate the death of Hisoka!"

"Yeah!" exclaimed Tsuzuki, who was completely oblivious to the last sentence Muraki said. Shima then sat up. "If we are going to do this right, then we should have absolutely no advance planning of this party," Shima said. "I rule for that Tsuzuki should go run around the streets naked and just screaming random things and throw rocks at people and I will recruit some new 'sugar' whores for the party. Muraki, you… can do whatever you want. I don't care and honestly… I don't care."

"Nice to know you care, Shima-Kitty…" Muraki said, his face cringing due to the fact that he was so useless for the development of HIS Rape-Fest.

"Sorry, Muraki-Bunny, but the authoress is running out of funny things for us to say, so I gotta' go now." With that said, and a simple kiss on the cheek, Shima waved off to Muraki. "Bye, my man-toy!"

Muraki gloomily waved back, still feeling misery and woe for he could not be of use in the name of Rape-Fest. It was his idea; he was the rightful creator of Rape-Fests nation-wide. In fact, in recognition for his Rape-Fests, Muraki was given a far-off secret and exclusive mountain that he then and there dubbed 'Rape Mountain', tricked out with the most Baller shit you have and will ever see. It even had a fifty-foot high solid gold fountain that poured out the most expensive wine in the world.

Muraki narrowed his eyes and growled in his throat.

Just then Muraki felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to face Hisoka, who was very beaten up, had a black eye, and several rips in his clothing most likely unrelated to the fact Shima and Muraki had thrown him out a five-story window. Hisoka spoke out, intimidating and halting after every word:

"I…am…going…to…kick…your…ass…"

Muraki then punched him in the face and threw the limp body in the closet. He then quickly went back to plotting against Shima. If he weren't a part of Rape-Fest, then no one would be.

**Later that day at Rape-Fest…**

Tsuzuki laughed drunkenly as he toast a glass of Chardonnay with Shima. Tsuzuki was currently dressed up in a completely white sailor suit, even decked out with a captain's hat. Shima wore something a bit less expensive, absolutely nothing.

Various pimps and bitches walked through the large house, loud rap music playing and barrels of weed to smoke and 'sugar' to snort. Muraki sat in the corner, petting a large radiant peacock and glared at the two drunken lovers. After Tsuzuki left Shima alone, that was when he would carry out his plan…

Shima sat up drunkenly and told Tsuzuki that she was going to go somewhere to remember why she got up. Tsuzuki then reminded her that if she were to leave him and run off when some other man, he'd kill the both of them. Shima mentioned that she loved him too and, attempted to walk off, but tripped and crawled away awkwardly to cover up her mistake. Muraki smirked evilly and with his large bird in hand, followed after our dysfunctional heroine.

Speaking of heroine that was what Shima was trying to inject into her bloodstream, until she caught a glimpse of Muraki, or at least someone who looked to some extent. Shima stumbled over to the gentleman because either way if it were he, Shima was going to have a sweet night at the end of this Rape-Fest…

Muraki took note of everything that was happening as he continued stroking his large peacock. Shima was, sort of, walking towards him. As long as he didn't raise any suspicion towards himself or his plan, it would all fall into place…

"Heyyyy thereeee (hic) Muraki-Bun (hic) neh! You look like a really pretty lady today!"

"Shima, I'm over here. Please leave the nice plant alone…"

"Hey, please! Can't ya' see that me (hic) and one of my men are trying (hic) to (hic) get it on? Sheesh, no privacy here (hic) Mura (hic) ki-rabbit?" Shima shouted out blandly and drunkenly. She stood up and tried to run away with the plant in arm. Muraki couldn't take it anymore. If it were to work, he would have to take Shima by force. But when you think about it he could have just have bribed Shima with candy like a five-year old and drive away with her.

Yes, now thinking back as Muraki slung the unconscious Shima over his shoulder, Muraki can over think some things. Muraki left a note for Tsuzuki where he knew he'd find it. Operation: R.M was a-go.

Tsuzuki then ripped off the post-it note that Muraki had hastily taped on his forehead. It read:

**_Dear Hot Man-toy_**,

'_That's me!" _Tsuzuki thought happily.

**_As you probably notice… Shima has gotten missing. _**

_'Shima's missing?' Tsuzuki pouted puzzled. _

_**Yes… She's missing… God, what does she see in you? **_

_'A man who can rock her world!' A smirk appeared on Tsuzuki's face. _

_**Oh, true that! True that… but back to the point, Shima is missing… **_

_'Shima's missing?' _

**Yes,** **_God! Stop interrupting this threatening letter with your stupid thoughts, Tsuzuki! _**

_'Fine! Sheesh, mean post-it note…' _

_**I heard that! Anyways, you have taken up most of my time so long threatening post-it note short, I've taken Shima and I'm hiding her in Rape Mountain, you know, the one past Wal-Mart? Well, try to get her back and if you don't… well nothing bad would really happen but you'd be pretty bored for a while I guess and then would be no plot for this fan fiction, so yeah… You have to get her back anyways because if you don't, the authoress will kick your fine ass. **_

**_With love and kisses, _**

**_Muraki _**

**_P.S. If you're wonder how I got all this written down on a little post-it note, Shima helped me. _**

**_Hey Tsuzuki! _**

**_That was Shima, so yeah. Come to Rape Mountain, the one past Wal-Mart to save her. On the back of the note is a detail map to get here. K, see ya. _**

Tsuzuki felled back, shocked and very confused. This day started great and now Shima has been kidnapped and he must save her. Well Rape-fest or no Rape-fest, Tsuzuki must go and save the whore- I mean, love of his life!

Just then the door flew open and the outside light shined in and cause the music to abruptly stop. In the doorway was a teenage-looking girl with black wavy hair and cat ears carrying some bags with groceries inside. She examined the surrounding and exclaimed, "What are all you people doing inside my house!?"

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So, what does happen? Does Tsuzuki save Shima? Does he even care? Well, since almost nobody reads this story except for my friend who I am writing about, you going to find out next time! Buah ha hahahahah!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

As soon as the enraged cat-girl stepped into the house, everyone knew Rape-Fest was over and done… Awwww… In time shorter than Shima's attention span when she's on a sugar high and crack, the house was completely vacant, except for the feline female and Tsuzuki-kun.

Tsuzuki's expressions lighten up to a smile once he realized who this Rape-Fest hater was. "Rei-chan! Oh it's been so long! How have you and Roy Mustang been doing?" Tsuzuki said gleefully while pulling the resisting cat girl into his arms in a crushing hug.

She managed to punch Tsuzuki upside the head and get him to shut up long enough for her to say something. "I'm fine, Tsuzuki. But two things: One, Roy married my mom and two, my name is Rebecca, not Rei."

"Oh… well, then…this is awkward…" Tsuzuki whispered sheepishly, twiddling his thumbs. It was mostly silent and the only movement was the tumbleweed flow by screen. Becca-Chan was the one to break the silence.

"Well Tsuzuki… what idiotic/retarded/perverted/illegal/cinnamon roll-related event did you cause now? I know for a fact that the authoress didn't just call me in for no reason at all…" Rebecca stared lazily into Tsuzuki's quivering eyes as he gulped. Becca-Chan was the only character in this entire fan fiction that was NOT insane/completely perverted! I know, shocking. How can such a person even exist on this plane of the living!? Tsuzuki, Shima, Muraki, Watari and the entire underworld were researching for any explanation for this unbelievable being. All the research proved that they had too much free time on hand.

"Well… ummm, Rebecca (gulp) Chan…? It, it may have had something to do with the fact that… Shima was kidnapped?" Tsuzuki kneeled down in front of Becca-Chan just to show how pitiful and low he was compared to her fury. Becca growled in her throat and picked Tsuzuki-kun off the ground with one hand. Her completely black and soulless eyes scared the shit out of Tsuzuki and he sunk back down low to the ground.

"Tsuzuki… this is pathetic… you're scared of a little girl?" Rebecca said slowly with a(n) –insert adjective here- look on her face. Tsuzuki shivered.

"If I say yes, will you hurt me?"

"No."

"Awwww…"

Rebecca pulled Tsuzuki back on his feet. "All right, Tsuzuki, you better explain to me, what exactly happened."

And he did. And, man did he! Tsuzuki mention thoroughly in great detail of the events that had occurred. Some Rebecca could have gone to sleep not knowing… Nonetheless, Becca-Chan listened, despite the fact she had begged the authoress to make him stop and her several suicide attempts failed.

"Then Muraki knocked Shima unconscious, slung her over his shoulder, taped a post-it note on my face, and left through the front door about two minutes before you entered." Tsuzuki finally ended and Rebecca dropped his knife. Becca-Chan thought to herself for a moment and slapped Tsuzuki in the face.

"You idiot! If you were only three feet away from everything that was happening, then why didn't you do anything to help Shima? I thought you loved her."

Tsuzuki stared at Rebecca blankly.

"I meant physically, Tsuzuki."

"OHHHHHHHH! Then, yeah, I do love her."

"How am I friends or even know you freakin' idiots…?" Rebecca slapped herself in her face. "KershaFangs, I hate you..."

**Meanwhile at Rape Mountain...**

(For the next paragraph, for all te italic words, instead of straining your vocabulary and wasting time on simply replace each one with the word, 'perverted'.)

Shima sighed bored, while upside down on a pole. She had just awoken and found herself in a strange place she had never seen before and locked in a rather questionably decoration room, now wearing a revealing leather outift. The room was filled with the dark glow of black lights which made made such things as the lewd posters, kinky toys, erotic novels, and the cast of Gravitation in swimsuits, appear clearer than the other morally corrupted objects in this twisted _risqué_ Playboy-like chamber. There were such _lascivious_ and diversity between everything smut within those walls that not even someone as _libidinous_ as Shima knew it all.

This reminded her of her 6th birthday party.

She was still piecing together the puzzle of how she was conveyed into this queer location. She meant queer in both the sense. Shima tried and tried, yet due to her: memory lapses, A.D.D, delirlium, mental psychosis, drug consumption, mania, alchocol abuse, insanity, young age, sleep apnea, hypersexuality, and just being in this fan fiction, has Shima with the mental, problem, puzzle, attention skills of a creature whose very existence is questioned for the fact that it has the same brain responses of a dead body. I could list the disorders and dysfunctions and just plain things wrong with this girls, but that would much too long to read and then to understand the fact that there is a person who exists that is as truly screwed in head as Shima.

Then she woke up. She sighed restlessly, and sat up. Shima then soon noticed Muraki was watching over her with a closed smile. "Did you sleep well, my precious pussy(cat)?"

Shima 'reowed' deeply as if you says yes. "Muraki-Bunny, were you watching sleep this whole time?"

"Yes. Just what I promised to you the day we met... that fateful day so long ago..."

Shima smile herself, remembering that event...

(Flashback)

-static-

(End Flashback)

_'Oh wait, I don't remember.'_

Shima looked over to Muraki, matching her soft, blue eye's gaze upon Muraki's single visable one. Muraki raised a pale hand and grasped her chin, tilting her head up so they met in an even deeper gaze. Using his own hand, Muraki felt the soft cheek of Shima and only slowly carassed her skin. Shima closed her eyes and purred from the pleasing sense she aquired from his touch. "You have something you wish to say, Shima?" Muraki knew there was something on her mind. That's why Shima has had the newfoundly ability to sit for more than twenty seconds without breaking something. An incredible best for her.

Shima had opened her eyes and then averted her vision downwards, cursing the fact she had broken the contact between the two. "Yes... you see, um, Muraki... I cannot recall that day, the day we met, for you see... I have crack for brains."

Muraki chuckled deeply in response. "Very well then. I'll just have to remind then, won't I?" He scooped Shima up in his arms and laid down in an up-right position while Shima snuggled closely to his chest. She inhaled Muraki's scent. Oh, how Shima adored Muraki's colonge, Ode deu Rape, now with 15 more scent of fear than before. Muraki inhaled and began:

"It was a dark and stormy afternoon... the birds were chirping happily and the sun beamed down on all. I was in town just for the routinely 'killing several people, molesting random high school boys, and looking as sexy as ever'. Then as I was walking along, I was stopped by a woman. Her hair was long and straight with bangs positioned more to one half of her face, her eyes as deep and blue as the ocean, and her cremè skin was flawless. It was like vision of myself in the future. She stared at me intensively while I comteplated the name of a good plastic surgeon. Suddenly, she leaned over to my ear and whispered, "Wanna buy a kid? Real cheap, 20 bucks!". Having 21 dollars that day I of course accepted, promising to have and raise this child as I would mine own and care for them just as a father should. She then handed you to me, stole my money, and hid in a dumpster. I, being incredibility disappointed in you being a female, tossed you in a trash can and went to church in search of the alter boys. It appears though that our man doll Tsuzuki had found you and gave you a home with some hippies living in a college dorm. After they had graduated a year later, you were then raised by the women of a strip club. There you learn all the tricks and trades of being not only a stripper, but of hookers, sluts, and yiffie freaks too! And as you were walk to school for your first day of middle school, I drugged and kidnapped you. Then Tsuzuki had found you in my posession and drugged and kidnapped you back. This cycle continue for a while until I molested eveyone. After then, we all lived together, happy, in love, and raped."

Once Muraki was finished he was surprise that Shima had not ran away in search of absolutely nothing. Shima was in reality sleeping soundly in his arms with a content smile on her face. Muraki smiled again and tucked Shima into the bed. _'Sleep well Shima, for tomorrow, your training begins...'_

**Back with Rebecca and Tsuzuki...**

"I can't work with someone like him. He's completely stupid and I'm bored without Shima." Rebecca crossed her arms and glared at Tsuzuki. The two of were begged the might of great authoress, me, to order some kind of plot hole so that they didn't have to be together to get to Shima. They hadn't not been able to work together at all...

(Flashback)

"Didn't you say there was a map to Rape Mountain, Tsuzuki?"

"What map?"

"The one on the post-it."

"What post-it?"

"The one...! Oh nevermind, I know how this will end..."

(Another Flashback)

"Tsuzuki, are you done mapquesting directions to Rape Mountain?"

"Um... maybe..."

"Tsuzuki, what did you- Oh my God, what have you... what did you... how did you... you are never allowed anywhere near my stuff!"

"I'm sorry! I was going to mapquest it, but then a IHops pop-up appeared for their new breakfast cinnamon rolls and... I just couldn't stop myself! Sometimes I just have such strong urges to--"

"LA LA LA! I'M NOT GOING TO BE A PART OF YOUR SICK LITTLE JOKE! LA LA LA!"

(Another Flashback)

"Tsuzuki! What happened to your hands? They're completely bloody!"

"KershaFangs threw a Cinnamon roll down the garbage disposal..."

"Oh, k."

(End Flashbacks)

That last one however, didn't really have anything to do with the problem...

I stood up and said, "I don't even have a plot for this story, I mean, a girl get kidnapped and taken to a place called Rape mounain? I'm making things up as I go along! And since there is no plot, there are no plot holes so you two are stuck with each other unless I think of something else... Bye bye!"

I pulled a lever out of nowhere and Tsuzuki and Rebecca fell through. I then petted the hole. "Ah, good old polt hole... you know I'll never let the other take you away from me... and now, sleep!" I passed out on the floor.

---

So, can Rebecca and Tsuzuki work together long enough to find Rape Mountain? Does Shima even realize where she is? Will the authoress help Rebecca and Tsuzuki? Most likey not... and what is this mysterious 'training' Muraki has planned out for Shima? Well, if you've looking for answers, I'm just as confused as you...


End file.
